Ever heard these phrases during a team meeting?

• “I can’t do this because no one told me how!”

• “I wanted to take initiative, but I was waiting for approval!”

• “It’s not my fault; the process is just broken!”

Congratulations, you’ve identified the Victim Trap, a phenomenon that seems to affect younger generations in the workplace more than they’d care to admit. (But hey, it’s not entirely their fault

oh wait, am I falling into the trap now?)

Let’s dive into this with a light-hearted lens, shall we?

What is the Victim Trap?

The Victim Trap is when team members believe they have no control over their situation. Instead of taking action, they pass the metaphorical baton of responsibility to “circumstances,” “the system,” or “someone else.” It’s not that they’re lazy, far from it! They’ve just unknowingly convinced themselves that they’re powerless.

And let’s be real: in today’s workplace, filled with endless Slack messages, Jira tickets, and generational stereotypes, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. For many younger professionals, the line between “waiting for guidance” and “blaming the universe” gets blurry real fast.

How to Identify the Victim Trap (Without Offending Everyone)

Spotting the Victim Trap is like spotting a squirrel hiding in a tree—subtle at first but obvious once you know what to look for. Keep an ear out for these phrases:

1. “I didn’t know I was supposed to…”

Translation: “I didn’t bother asking because someone should have told me!”

2. “The client/team/manager didn’t respond!”

Translation: “I’m waiting for the world to align perfectly before I do anything.”

3. “That’s not in my job description!”

Translation: “If I stay in my lane, no one can blame me for anything.”

4. Silent Shrug Emoji (🙃)

Translation: “I have given up but in a very millennial/gen Z, chill way.”

Why Do Younger Generations Fall Into It?

Now, don’t worry, this isn’t a roast of younger team members—it’s more of a lovingly delivered wake-up call. Some of the reasons they fall into the Victim Trap include:

• Fear of Failure: They’ve been told “mistakes are learning opportunities,” but let’s be honest, nobody wants to make the first mistake on a team.

• Perfectionism: If I can’t do it perfectly, should I even try?

• Too Much Guidance: Ironically, overly structured workplaces discourage initiative. If every step is dictated, there’s no room for autonomy.

• Instant Feedback Culture: Growing up with likes, shares, and retweets has wired them to wait for instant validation.

How to Solve It Without Sounding Like a Preachy Manager

1. Play the “What Can You Control?” Game

Ask your team: What is within your power to change or influence? Frame every roadblock as a mini-puzzle they can solve. This shifts the focus from external blame to internal power.

(Warning: You might hear groans of “Ugh, this is just toxic positivity!” Ignore them they’ll thank you later.)

2. Create a Safe-to-Fail Zone

Run an experiment where failure is not only tolerated but expected. Nothing cures fear of failure like realizing no one dies when you mess up. Bonus: It’s great fun to share and laugh about your “favorite fails” during retro!

3. Shift from Permission-Seeking to Action-Taking

Encourage “Ask for forgiveness, not permission.” Create a mantra like: “Try it first, then we’ll course-correct.” The more they practice initiative, the more it becomes a habit.

4. Use Humor to Break the Ice

When someone says, “I didn’t know I was supposed to…” respond with something lighthearted like, “Good thing we’re not building rocket ships here!” Humor disarms defensiveness and opens the door for self-awareness.

5. Recognize Even the Smallest Acts of Initiative

Did someone suggest a new way to organize the coffee mugs? Clap for them. Publicly appreciating initiative even small ones signals that it’s valued.

Closing Thoughts: Let’s Bust the Trap!

The Victim Trap isn’t permanent it’s just a mindset, and mindsets can change. By encouraging younger team members to step into their power, you’re helping them grow into confident, capable professionals. Plus, let’s be honest, a team full of action-takers makes your job as a leader or Scrum Master so much easier.

And for the younger generations reading this: Next time you catch yourself saying, “But I can’t because…” stop, breathe, and ask yourself, “What’s the tiniest step I can take right now?”Spoiler: The answer is almost never “nothing.”

Remember, you’re not powerless. You’ve got this. And if all else fails… just blame it on Mercury being in retrograde.